9.5.08

Relax... It's Priceless

My friend Brad helped me gain appreciation for awesomely bad local advertisements when we were roommates in college. I just wanted to write a quick thought about a couple of classics, one new and one old.

If you've recently driven southbound on I-15 between 7800 and 12300 South, you've probably seen a billboard for Sandy City which states, "Relax, you're in the 34th safest city in America." That's right, 34th. I'm not a writer and I've never taken a specific marketing class, but I am pretty sure that somewhere in your marketing education you learn that 34th just does not sound good. Can you imagine a water cooler conversation like this...

"Hey Joe, how are your (insert sports team name) doing?"

"Fantastic! With the win last night, they moved up to 34th!"

There are a lot of cities in America, so 34th probably isn't that bad. I just can't imagine that somewhere along the line during all the planning process for the billboard that someone didn't suggest saying, "Relax, you're in one of the safest cities in America."

The second instance is found in a classic radio jingle. It is promoting a local copy machine middle-man company, Les Olson Company. For those of you who were able to catch this year's Super Bowl on T.V. in Utah, you were treated to the entire song including a music video with the jingle's star. It was as if the Les Olson people saw the Toby Keith wannabe singing his song for Big-O Tires, and said "now that's a commercial." It was truly something to behold, and it got me laughing way more than all of the multi-million dollar comedy duds of the day. The best part of the jingle is the part right before the chorus. She sings with all the feeling and emotion of an E.F.Y. soft-rock star, "Where good service isn't expensive, it's priceless."

I can see what they are getting at, but it's all wrong. To me the phrase suggests that Les Olson Company is a place where good service is a rare commodity. It isn't expensive (something that is available but costly.) It is priceless (something that is so rare, you can't associate a monitary value to it.) So it is a place where good service is incredibly rare.

I know they are all around, what are some other awesomely bad slogans?

8 comments:

Jeremy said...

Oh boy, I love that billboard! 34th, pretty rad! Obviously Sugar House doesn't have that standing otherwise we'd have a terribly bad billboard too.

I was curious how many cities there are in America and I found this little gem of info on the interweb. How factual it is, I don't know, but I'm sure it's easy to check:

"...there are 42,624 cities with zip codes, there may be others without zip codes, but probably not many."

John said...

Forever, I thought the Sarah Lee slogan was "Nobody does it like Sarah Lee."

Then one day I was driving behind a Sarah Lee delivery van. The slogan was painted in six-inch letters across the back.

"Nobody doesn't like Sarah Lee."

Seriously, a double negative in a slogan. Yikes!

Leslie said...

Oh, my goodness! This was totally, like, the 34th best post I've ever read! You really had me laughing!

Oh, and I thought the same thing John did about Sara Lee. I hate that slogan -- and I DON'T like her bread!!

Shua said...

Maybe it's just me, but the car insurance commercials (I think they're for State Farm, but I'm not sure) really bug me. At first they show a very luxurious service, such as a first-class airplane, and they say "If you can get this, for the same price as this..." then the scene switches to a really cheap version of the same service. After that, the narrator says, "It's the same with car insurance." Umm, ok. I understand what they're saying, but bringing a completely unrelated topic into the picture just doesn't make sense to me.

Shelby said...

Hi Jesse, it's Shelby...you know, Dave's wife, your old roommate at the crap house. I ran into you once but you didn't know it was me. Anyway, it's me. I found your blog and I'm commenting. (And I had to tease you a little for not recognizing me.) I am rarely in SLC but I have seen that billboard and that was my exact reaction as well. And I'm shocked to learn that the Sarah Lee slogan is different than I always thought. Who knew??? Glad you have a blog and that your about to be a dad. Very fun. And Dave says hi.

Jesse C said...

Shelby,
I remember running into you at the Gateway. Did I not recognize you? If I didn't, it was because in my mind you were way over in Wyoming. Or Montana, I can't remember. Anyway, we have to make the crap house reunion happen. Good to hear from you.

Lindy-Lou said...

Just a general observation: NEVER, NEVER let the owner of a small business do their own ad. And a big thank you to your father for following that unwritten rule.

I love your blog, Jesse, and your header is very nice. Actually, you have a very nice head, too. Personally, I mean. Nice ears, beautiful eyes, good nose.....

Jeremy said...

Ha! Good one Shelby!