Dear Management of ...

First and foremost, I wish to congratulate you on the excellent work with the remodel and opening of your new establishment. I work nearby and often noted the progress on the building, wondering what would replace Big City Soup (R.I.P.) It is obvious that a lot of care and resources went into making your business a reality. The style, cleanliness, and atmosphere are all excellent in addition to the staff being very helpful.

Now I will get to the real point of my writing. I stopped in the other day for some lunch when I saw a note on your large blue sandwich board indicating that you serve soup. Perhaps in my subconscious I was hoping for a gustatory experience akin to what I had grown accustomed to when dining with the aforementioned previous tenants. When I entered, I saw on the board that the soup of the day was "Roasted Tomato Soup." I have partaken of this type of soup in the past and thoroughly enjoy it. I was cold and hungry, and this bowl of delicious soup was going to really make my day.

I sadly must report it was easily the worst soup I've ever had. I must reiterate that I was both hungry and cold, a situation which would normally make a warm, home-made soup taste even better. I must at this point also interject that I'm really not a picky eater. This is in fact the first time I've felt the need to inform an eatery of sub-par dining experience I've had.

For the sake of future patrons I feel a duty to give some constructive criticism. The soup in question consisted almost entirely of sliced baby carrots in vegetable oil. There were some chunks of celery, the corpse of half a tomato, tasteless green "spices," and a pinch of water, but in essence it was sliced baby carrots in vegetable oil. The soup was scalding hot enough and I was hungry enough at the time of consumption that I made it through three bites before I realized what I was tasting (or not tasting as the case may be.)

This "Roasted Tomato Soup" tasted strangely to me like sliced baby carrots in vegetable oil. In an attempt to salvage the meal, I drained the oil-water mixture and placed a couple slices of carrot into my mouth. Unfortunately, they had become saturated in, you guessed it, vegetable oil.

Don't get me wrong at this point, I have nothing against either baby carrots or vegetable oil. I've enjoyed thousands of dishes over the years which incorporated one or both. In fact, I have been known to snack on raw baby carrots from time to time. It's the strange combination of these two as the primary ingredients of "Roasted Tomato Soup" which activated my gag reflexes and resulted in pouring the remainder down the drain.

You really have a good thing going. The home-made croutons were quite good. I only write this in hopes that you can find a way to improve the soup situation. As I mentioned, I work nearby and would gladly pay for delicious soup from time to time during these cold winter months. Thank you for your time and attention. I have spewed quite the dissertation.

Yours,

Jesse Crowley